Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Day 4 Results!
Morning Party People!
I almost left the house before writing this blog. Money is always on my mind the moment I wake up, I'm not liking it either. There is a bunch of things I'd rather be in my head when I wake up, my sweetie, my art, hell I'd prefer being excited about hanging out with some of my friends. Instead I think about how much money I hope to make today.I can see writing these thoughts out that my priorities are mixed up.
I'm a big fan of Joe Rogan's podcast, I find myself agreeing with a lot of the ideas he talks about but every now and ten he says something that rubs me the wrong way. It was something to the effect of - if you're pissed about the money you make it's because you don't want to see that it's probably all the money you deserve. Is that true? Am I destined to be poor my whole life? Is anything ever going to get better. Am I stuck in a shitty year in high school that's never going to end?
I was bummed out when that idea came into my head, I had to fight the idea, to keep it from coming a fact that I felt about myself. I think that idea was already in my head, it was just hiding. So was this all I deserved? Well what actions do I take to warren the income I bring in? Am I working as hard or as smart as people who make more than me? No, no I'm not.
Ok so at least I have some truth now, what's the next step? Make a plan, take some action. I'm pleased to say that that ball is already rolling.
I started this blog, or this dailly blog so I could get in the habit of writing on a daily basis, last night after Jennie went to bed I stayed up for a bit so I could write. I finnaly got a bit that I'd been half assing for a year now on paper and I think I've got a direction for it to go, I can't wait to try it out tonight at the open mic!
I think the more I work like this the more I will deserve (at least to myself). Only time will tell!
Till next time Party People,
Keep on a chooglin!
I almost left the house before writing this blog. Money is always on my mind the moment I wake up, I'm not liking it either. There is a bunch of things I'd rather be in my head when I wake up, my sweetie, my art, hell I'd prefer being excited about hanging out with some of my friends. Instead I think about how much money I hope to make today.I can see writing these thoughts out that my priorities are mixed up.
I'm a big fan of Joe Rogan's podcast, I find myself agreeing with a lot of the ideas he talks about but every now and ten he says something that rubs me the wrong way. It was something to the effect of - if you're pissed about the money you make it's because you don't want to see that it's probably all the money you deserve. Is that true? Am I destined to be poor my whole life? Is anything ever going to get better. Am I stuck in a shitty year in high school that's never going to end?
I was bummed out when that idea came into my head, I had to fight the idea, to keep it from coming a fact that I felt about myself. I think that idea was already in my head, it was just hiding. So was this all I deserved? Well what actions do I take to warren the income I bring in? Am I working as hard or as smart as people who make more than me? No, no I'm not.
Ok so at least I have some truth now, what's the next step? Make a plan, take some action. I'm pleased to say that that ball is already rolling.
I started this blog, or this dailly blog so I could get in the habit of writing on a daily basis, last night after Jennie went to bed I stayed up for a bit so I could write. I finnaly got a bit that I'd been half assing for a year now on paper and I think I've got a direction for it to go, I can't wait to try it out tonight at the open mic!
I think the more I work like this the more I will deserve (at least to myself). Only time will tell!
Till next time Party People,
Keep on a chooglin!
Monday, October 21, 2013
Day 3 Work
Morning Party People!
Yesterday I made no money. GASP!
That's right I didn't drive yesterday, this might bite me in the ass later in the week but for now I feel ok about it. I spent the day recording three episodes of the podcast. The first interview went a lot better than I expected it to. The second worked out like I thought it would and the third went deeper than I though t would.
I'm not sure what to write next as I've yet to have any coffee this morning. I hate it when my brain gets stuck in 2nd gear >< Coffee should be done in a few minutes , wath once I start drinking it nothing on this page will change. POOF like magic, shit stays the same!
So what's next for this week? Why the hell am I thinking that far off >< What's on the list for today? Today I'm hitting the road while running bits through my head occasionally writing them down. Perhaps my goal will be to write more ideas down so when I get home I can spend more time here working out the premises if you will!
Not sure if this idea of writing as soon as I wake up is a good one....
At least there's coffee, and at least I showed up to the keyboard, for now that's good enough, tomorrow I might expect more from me, for today I'm happy I'm here.
Now how do I translate this effort into an exercise I can do?
Yesterday I made no money. GASP!
That's right I didn't drive yesterday, this might bite me in the ass later in the week but for now I feel ok about it. I spent the day recording three episodes of the podcast. The first interview went a lot better than I expected it to. The second worked out like I thought it would and the third went deeper than I though t would.
I'm not sure what to write next as I've yet to have any coffee this morning. I hate it when my brain gets stuck in 2nd gear >< Coffee should be done in a few minutes , wath once I start drinking it nothing on this page will change. POOF like magic, shit stays the same!
So what's next for this week? Why the hell am I thinking that far off >< What's on the list for today? Today I'm hitting the road while running bits through my head occasionally writing them down. Perhaps my goal will be to write more ideas down so when I get home I can spend more time here working out the premises if you will!
Not sure if this idea of writing as soon as I wake up is a good one....
At least there's coffee, and at least I showed up to the keyboard, for now that's good enough, tomorrow I might expect more from me, for today I'm happy I'm here.
Now how do I translate this effort into an exercise I can do?
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Day 2 ok so now what do I talk about?
I've been up for about 30 minutes, I have my coffee mixed with mct oil and butter, here we go!
Morning Party People!
Today was different when I woke up. Maybe it was seeing Jennie when I first woke up, or maybe it was the good night I had driving the cab, or it could be the four podcasts I'm set to record today. I think in the end it was that I have a bunch to lok forward to today...or maybe it's that today I'm not taking anything for granted, either I'm alive and I psyched to be in this dimension!
That's right I said dimention! I mention that because last night I stopped by Stand Up Scottsdale to see some of my comedian peeps. I like doing that because 1. They're awesome to hang out with and 2. Seeing other people getting paid for what I want to be doing sets a subtle yet scorching flame under my nute to keep working.
As I was walking up to te club last night I saw Jules (Not sure if I spelled his name right but lets go with this for now). I've met Jules at the open mic nights and the dude has always been super friendly. I hadn't seen him for a bit and asked him where he's been. His response was to the effect of "recovering rom a DMT trip from a few weeks past" I was instantly facinated.
For those of you who don;t know DMT or dimethyltryptamine is an intense psychedelic which Joe Rogan talks about all the time. Jules was willing to share his experience with me so I listened to his tale of how his ego broke down and how he saw the dimensions of the world we live in, all of it very fascinating. I'm curious about having an experience like that myself. I think it's the death of my ego that I would be looking forward to. With my luck I would see nothing but a vision of me running the floor of some diner at the age of 72, I'd have a heart attacke right in the middle of a Sunday brunch shift with only one server and no cook and a full house. That would be the ultimate hell to live and die in for me.
I got to get ready for the day now, feel free to copy and paste your morning thoughts/muses/ shit you gotta spit!
Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!
Morning Party People!
Today was different when I woke up. Maybe it was seeing Jennie when I first woke up, or maybe it was the good night I had driving the cab, or it could be the four podcasts I'm set to record today. I think in the end it was that I have a bunch to lok forward to today...or maybe it's that today I'm not taking anything for granted, either I'm alive and I psyched to be in this dimension!
That's right I said dimention! I mention that because last night I stopped by Stand Up Scottsdale to see some of my comedian peeps. I like doing that because 1. They're awesome to hang out with and 2. Seeing other people getting paid for what I want to be doing sets a subtle yet scorching flame under my nute to keep working.
As I was walking up to te club last night I saw Jules (Not sure if I spelled his name right but lets go with this for now). I've met Jules at the open mic nights and the dude has always been super friendly. I hadn't seen him for a bit and asked him where he's been. His response was to the effect of "recovering rom a DMT trip from a few weeks past" I was instantly facinated.
For those of you who don;t know DMT or dimethyltryptamine is an intense psychedelic which Joe Rogan talks about all the time. Jules was willing to share his experience with me so I listened to his tale of how his ego broke down and how he saw the dimensions of the world we live in, all of it very fascinating. I'm curious about having an experience like that myself. I think it's the death of my ego that I would be looking forward to. With my luck I would see nothing but a vision of me running the floor of some diner at the age of 72, I'd have a heart attacke right in the middle of a Sunday brunch shift with only one server and no cook and a full house. That would be the ultimate hell to live and die in for me.
I got to get ready for the day now, feel free to copy and paste your morning thoughts/muses/ shit you gotta spit!
Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!
Saturday, October 19, 2013
As promised, day 1
Morning Party People!
Ok so here's da one of "I just woke up writing". Just to be honest I woke up about 20 minutes ago, I made coffee and put some butter,mct oil as well as some cocconut sugar in it to give it that special taste that seems to make me so happy these days. I hearthe mct oil is suppose to help with weight loss for sme reason, I believed it yet I have done no research on it, I only have faith that someday this gut of mine will go away and I can be the me that I've always wanted to be.
Fat is something that I've aleays hated about me, it's the last thing I despise no that thnk about it.I've learned to love even the worst things about me over the past few years (ever since the rebirth) yet my body still isthe source of much of my dismay. "You're going to get fat, you're going to get fat,'you're oing to get fat,get fat,get fat,get fat, ou're too fat,too fat ,too fat, fat,fat,fat...." It might seem like I'm being overly dramatic but if I look back into a select area of my past I could run a stream of instances where those words we're always thrown at me, usually from people who thought they were helping. Remember when I said that the wonderful yet horrifing thing about mankind is that if you tell a human something long enough eventually they believe it? This is what I believe, I'm fat, have always been fat, will always be fat and will die a blob of failure that people will point and laugh at. When I think about it I get so angry I want to hurt everyone around me, I can't hurt my friends and family though right? I love them, they love me, so what do I do with this anger?
This is the part where I'm trying to rewire my brain. My MO is to get angry/depressed and rather than do something constructive I take that anger out on me. I do this by eating like shit, eating something horrible like a double whopper, fries, coke oh and don't forget the chocolate pie they have! On the way home I should get something to snack on later, sure I have frozen pizza at home as well as pasta but I could go for a hostess cupcake or some chips right about now. sounds good? Maybe a little gross? I agree completely Party People.
Here's the thing about addictions to anything, they feel great! If they didn't we wouldn't do them. They feel so good in fact that while they are changing your life for the worse you don't even realise it. Think of an anesthetic for your soul, you're numb, they joy that once was so intense becomes into a desire to not feel anything at all. Well I need to feel again, feel something else besides my stomache anyways. I find myself focusing on what I'm feeling after I eat, I don't want to hate myself anymore when it comes to food but I don't want to be too easy on me either.
There's some baby steps in here somewhere I know it, I just don't see it just now. I won't get too down on not seeing them as this is only day one =)
Till next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin!
Ok so here's da one of "I just woke up writing". Just to be honest I woke up about 20 minutes ago, I made coffee and put some butter,mct oil as well as some cocconut sugar in it to give it that special taste that seems to make me so happy these days. I hearthe mct oil is suppose to help with weight loss for sme reason, I believed it yet I have done no research on it, I only have faith that someday this gut of mine will go away and I can be the me that I've always wanted to be.
Fat is something that I've aleays hated about me, it's the last thing I despise no that thnk about it.I've learned to love even the worst things about me over the past few years (ever since the rebirth) yet my body still isthe source of much of my dismay. "You're going to get fat, you're going to get fat,'you're oing to get fat,get fat,get fat,get fat, ou're too fat,too fat ,too fat, fat,fat,fat...." It might seem like I'm being overly dramatic but if I look back into a select area of my past I could run a stream of instances where those words we're always thrown at me, usually from people who thought they were helping. Remember when I said that the wonderful yet horrifing thing about mankind is that if you tell a human something long enough eventually they believe it? This is what I believe, I'm fat, have always been fat, will always be fat and will die a blob of failure that people will point and laugh at. When I think about it I get so angry I want to hurt everyone around me, I can't hurt my friends and family though right? I love them, they love me, so what do I do with this anger?
This is the part where I'm trying to rewire my brain. My MO is to get angry/depressed and rather than do something constructive I take that anger out on me. I do this by eating like shit, eating something horrible like a double whopper, fries, coke oh and don't forget the chocolate pie they have! On the way home I should get something to snack on later, sure I have frozen pizza at home as well as pasta but I could go for a hostess cupcake or some chips right about now. sounds good? Maybe a little gross? I agree completely Party People.
Here's the thing about addictions to anything, they feel great! If they didn't we wouldn't do them. They feel so good in fact that while they are changing your life for the worse you don't even realise it. Think of an anesthetic for your soul, you're numb, they joy that once was so intense becomes into a desire to not feel anything at all. Well I need to feel again, feel something else besides my stomache anyways. I find myself focusing on what I'm feeling after I eat, I don't want to hate myself anymore when it comes to food but I don't want to be too easy on me either.
There's some baby steps in here somewhere I know it, I just don't see it just now. I won't get too down on not seeing them as this is only day one =)
Till next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin!
Friday, October 18, 2013
It's a lot of what you would think it is, not what it ever was...only more so!
It's a lot of what you would think it is, not what it ever was...only more so!
That's right I'm feeling creative Party People! Hence the confusing idea that's used as bait to lure you all into thinking that I'm thinking deep! Before I go any further let me show you the inspiration to this artsy high I'm feeling :https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/405-steven-pressfield-aubrey/id360084272?i=169208291&mt=2
As I was listening to Steven Pressfield author of The War of Art I found myself hating the fact that I was driving a cab instead of sitting here at my computer writing (like I am right now). This pod is making me look at what forms of resistence I have in my life and now I'm formulating a plan on how to overcome them.
Am example of resistance if distractions that keep me from writing on a daily basis. So perhaps I need to jump start my writing again by doing a daily blog? I've done 90 days of continuous writing, this should be no problem, right?
I think a theme is needed for this upcoming project though. I've got it! I'll write a blog every morning for the next thirty days! Why morning time? Because I won't have been completely awake so the stream of conscious writing should be in full effect! Think of this as a workout rgiment for creativity, you're all welcome to join in the work if you like in the comment section, just copy and paste your own blog into the comments and let's see what we come up with! It doesn't have to make sense, hell we don't even have to read it after we're done! I think the writing alone is going to make this super special and 10 types of awesome!
Till Next Time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!
That's right I'm feeling creative Party People! Hence the confusing idea that's used as bait to lure you all into thinking that I'm thinking deep! Before I go any further let me show you the inspiration to this artsy high I'm feeling :https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/405-steven-pressfield-aubrey/id360084272?i=169208291&mt=2
As I was listening to Steven Pressfield author of The War of Art I found myself hating the fact that I was driving a cab instead of sitting here at my computer writing (like I am right now). This pod is making me look at what forms of resistence I have in my life and now I'm formulating a plan on how to overcome them.
Am example of resistance if distractions that keep me from writing on a daily basis. So perhaps I need to jump start my writing again by doing a daily blog? I've done 90 days of continuous writing, this should be no problem, right?
I think a theme is needed for this upcoming project though. I've got it! I'll write a blog every morning for the next thirty days! Why morning time? Because I won't have been completely awake so the stream of conscious writing should be in full effect! Think of this as a workout rgiment for creativity, you're all welcome to join in the work if you like in the comment section, just copy and paste your own blog into the comments and let's see what we come up with! It doesn't have to make sense, hell we don't even have to read it after we're done! I think the writing alone is going to make this super special and 10 types of awesome!
Till Next Time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!
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