Day 6

Morning Party People,
              Like usual I'm not sure what to write here. I know my back is killing me right now, I have zero desire to start driving now so perhaps I'll go out later and work through most of the night, that could be fun. There I go again, thinking about money again. I don't  want to write about income, because I think it's tedious.
              I went to the open mic but didn't wait around to go up, it had been about two hours or so. I'm not hating, it happens. I just wished I had the time to wait, it feels crappy to leave the club without going up. I did get a chance to chat with some of the more veteran comics, and one of them might want to do the podcast, so if anything the evening wasn't a complete loss.
              So here I am, at this keyboard, wondering what to put on this page. at the moment I'm listening to an album of an artist I'm trying to get on the podcast, the thing is I'm not liking their new album too much. It's not bad, it's just in a new direction. I'm thinking if by some chance this person would do the podcast would I have to lie and say I titaly dug the new tunes? I wouldn't try to be a dick, you ever see a friend of your start hanging out with some new people and suddenly you can see how their heart and soul are being poisoned by theur new friends. Much like heroine I guess. That's what this new album sounds like to me. This is only the first listen thoug, I can tell I will like it more and more as I learn to appreciate it. After all it took me awhile to enjoy Girl in a Coma's last album.
              Come to think of it, there was never a Beastie Boys or a Blind Melon album I ever liked on the first listen, so that should tell you something about my taste in music =P

Till next time Party People
Keep on a Choogln!

Day 5........Five Alive sucked! It was OJ for poor kids growing up

Morning Party People!
           Stream of conciousnous writing hitting the keys soon after I wake up. As soon as I get up anyways, I wouldn't call myself awake just yet.
           Unike yesterday money was not the first thing that entered my mind when I woke. Today I was thinking about my set for later tonight, I think that's a better place to focus my attention.Progress!
           When I checked the stats on my Podcast I saw that I was at 27 listens for the week which is awesome because it used to take me a whole week to get to thirty listens. Progress!
           I downloaded Radical Face's new album which was amazing, much better than the last album which in itself was pretty amazing. Progress!
          Coffee+MCT oil+grass fed butter+a blender=one kick ass cup of coffee!....not so much progress as a tasty morning beverage I thought I'd share.
          Yesterday I was on a voucher run and the lady asked if we could stop on the way for some smokes. Normally I don't but she seemed like a person worth bending the rules for. She has brain cancer, she said it doesn't look good and she doesn't know how long she has, it's odd that I made her day a little better by helping her get something that would make her feel worse. Ironic? Unfair, or is it just very lifelike?
          I wonder who I'll meet today, I wonder who I'll meet tonight at the pen mic? All I know is that doing these little blogs is starting to make a difefrence on how I see my day...progress!

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a Chooglin!

This week Justin Dam and I have a great conversation, then Sam Fleager joins us!

Day 4 Results!

Morning Party People!
         I almost left the house before writing this blog. Money is always on my mind the moment I wake up, I'm not liking it either. There is a bunch of things I'd rather be in my head when I wake up, my sweetie, my art, hell I'd prefer being excited about hanging out with some of my friends. Instead I think about how much money I hope to make today.I can see writing these thoughts out that my priorities are mixed up.
         I'm a big fan of Joe Rogan's podcast, I find myself agreeing with a lot of the ideas he talks about but every now and ten he says something that rubs me the wrong way. It was something to the effect of - if you're pissed about the money you make it's because you don't want to see that it's probably all the money you deserve. Is that true? Am I destined to be poor my whole life? Is anything ever going to get better. Am I stuck in a shitty year in high school that's never going to end?
        I was bummed out when that idea came into my head, I had to fight the idea, to keep it from coming a fact that I felt about myself. I think that idea was already in my head, it was just hiding. So was this all I deserved? Well what actions do I take to warren the income I bring in? Am I working as hard or as smart as people who make more than me? No, no I'm not.
        Ok so at least I have some truth now, what's the next step? Make a plan, take some action. I'm pleased to say that that ball is already rolling.
        I started this blog, or this dailly blog so I could get in the habit of writing on a daily basis, last night after Jennie went to bed I stayed up for a bit so I could write. I finnaly got a bit that I'd been half assing for a year now on paper and I think I've got a direction for it to go, I can't wait to try it out tonight at the open mic!
        I think the more I work like this the more I will deserve (at least to myself). Only time will tell!

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a chooglin!

Day 3 Work

Morning Party People!
       Yesterday I made no money. GASP!
        That's right I didn't drive yesterday, this might bite me in the ass later in the week but for now I feel ok about it. I spent the day recording three episodes of the podcast. The first interview went a lot better than I expected it to. The second worked out like I thought it would and the third went deeper than I though t would.
        I'm not sure what to write next as I've yet to have any coffee this morning. I hate it when my brain gets stuck in 2nd gear >< Coffee should be done in a few minutes , wath once I start drinking it nothing on this page will change. POOF like magic, shit stays the same!
        So what's next for this week? Why the hell am I thinking that far off >< What's on the list for today? Today I'm hitting the road while running bits through my head occasionally writing them down. Perhaps my goal will be to write more ideas down so when I get home I can spend more time here working out the premises if you will!
        Not sure if this idea of writing as soon as I wake up is a good one....
        At least there's coffee, and at least I showed up to the keyboard, for now that's good enough, tomorrow I might expect more from me, for today I'm happy I'm here.
        Now how do I translate this effort into an exercise I can do?

Day 2 ok so now what do I talk about?

I've been up for about 30 minutes, I have my coffee mixed with mct oil and butter, here we go!

Morning Party People!
             Today was different when I woke up. Maybe it was seeing Jennie when I first woke up, or maybe it was the good night I had driving the cab, or it could be the four podcasts I'm set to record today. I think in the end it was that I have a bunch to lok forward to today...or maybe it's that today I'm not taking anything for granted, either I'm alive and I psyched to be in this dimension!
             That's right I said dimention! I mention that because last night I stopped by Stand Up Scottsdale to see some of my comedian peeps. I like doing that because 1. They're awesome to hang out with and 2. Seeing other people getting paid for what I want to be doing sets a subtle yet scorching flame under my nute to keep working.
             As I was walking up to te club last night I saw Jules (Not sure if I spelled his name right but lets go with this for now). I've met Jules at the open mic nights and the dude has always been super friendly. I hadn't seen him for a bit and asked him where he's been. His response was to the effect of "recovering rom a DMT trip from a few weeks past" I was instantly facinated.
             For those of you who don;t know DMT or    dimethyltryptamine is an intense psychedelic which Joe Rogan talks about all the time. Jules was willing to share his experience with me so I listened to his tale of how his ego broke down and how he saw the dimensions of the world we live in, all of it very fascinating. I'm curious about having an experience like that myself. I think it's the death of my ego that I would be looking forward to. With my luck I would see nothing but a vision of me running the floor of some diner at the age of 72, I'd have a heart attacke right in the middle of a Sunday brunch shift with only one server and no cook and a full house. That would be the ultimate hell to live and die in for me.
             I got to get ready for the day now, feel free to copy and paste your morning thoughts/muses/ shit you gotta spit!

Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!

As promised, day 1

Morning Party People!
           Ok so here's da one of "I just woke up writing". Just to be honest I woke up about 20 minutes ago, I made coffee and put some butter,mct oil as well as some cocconut sugar in it to give it that special taste that seems to make me so happy these days.  I hearthe mct oil is suppose to help with weight loss for sme reason, I believed it yet I have done no research on it, I only have faith that someday this gut of mine will go away and I can be the me that I've always wanted to be.
           Fat is something that I've aleays hated about me, it's the last thing I despise no that  thnk about it.I've learned to love even the worst things about me over the past few years (ever since the rebirth) yet my body still isthe source of much of my dismay. "You're going to get fat, you're going to get fat,'you're oing to get fat,get fat,get fat,get fat, ou're too fat,too fat ,too fat, fat,fat,fat...." It might seem like I'm being overly dramatic but if I look back into a select area of my past I could run a stream of instances where those words we're always thrown at me, usually from people who thought they were helping. Remember when I said that the wonderful yet horrifing thing about mankind is that if you tell a human something long enough eventually they believe it? This is what I believe, I'm fat, have always been fat, will always be fat and will die a blob of failure that people will point and laugh at. When I think about it I get so angry I want to hurt everyone around me, I can't hurt my friends and family though right? I love them, they love me, so what do I do with this anger?
           This is the part where I'm trying to rewire my brain. My MO is to get angry/depressed and rather than do something constructive I take that anger out on me. I do this by eating like shit, eating something horrible like a double whopper, fries, coke oh and don't forget the chocolate pie they have! On the way home I should get something to snack on later, sure I have frozen pizza at home as well as pasta but I could go for a hostess cupcake or some chips right about now. sounds good? Maybe a little gross? I agree completely Party People.
          Here's the thing about addictions to anything, they feel great! If they didn't we wouldn't do them. They feel so good in fact that while they are changing your life for the worse you don't even realise it. Think of an anesthetic for your soul, you're numb, they joy that once was so intense becomes into a desire to not feel anything at all. Well I need to feel again, feel something else besides my stomache anyways. I find myself focusing on what I'm feeling after I eat, I don't want to hate myself anymore when it comes to food but I don't want to be too easy on me either.
           There's some baby steps in here somewhere I know it, I just don't see it just now. I won't get too down on not seeing them as this is only day one =)

Till next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin!