So this is me on Chirstmas

Happy Happy Party People!
               Yes I know it's Chirstmas, yes I know we should be all giddy with excitement, I think I would be as happy as I'm supposed to be if it weren't for this impending move and life change I'm about to make in 30 days ><.
                I'm tired most days, I try to drive at least 10-14 hours a day but it gets to the point where I feel like I just come home to sleep then it's off to work I go. I don't feel I should gripe too much as no one put me in this place but me, and depending on how good I'm doing I might not even complain about it at all. That seems to be the common denominator these days," how much money did I make today?"
                "The child in me is screaming right now."
              

I wonder why?

Morning Party People,
             I have to make this quick as I need to get out the door and get this day started. I felt the need to post for a few reasons this morning.
             First I wanted to say thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, it really made a difference in my day. To those who didn't, I still love ya anyways, lord knows I'm horrible about birthdays.
             Secondly, I've been pretty pissy for the past few days, I'm not sure why, maybe my birthday is starting to get to me? Maybe getting older is starting to piss me off? I've noticed a sense of angst out on the road as of late but the more I think about it I think I'm just being negative. I catch myself thinking about how awesome it would be to unload a world of pain on the general public, then I catch myself and think," Why are you so angry?"
            That's the question of the day, I'd like to think that this isn't coming from out of the blue, that there is a starting point to this pissy mood I'm in. Perhaps that will be the focus of today!

Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!

Time moves forward as do both Jennie and I

Morning Party People!
                Before we get into it I'll just spit out the news. Jennie and I are moving to Colorado! More than likely we'll be in Denver or someplace just north of Denver. I've been looking forward to a move like this ever since my divorce, needless to say I've been wanting this for quite sometime!
                We'll be missing all of our friends and family deeply but in the end the world's opportunities don't always come to our doorsteps, sometimes you have to step out the front door and head off into the sunset to see what life has in store for you!
                I'm not sure how this will effect the podcast but it might have to go on hiatus for a few weeks. I'll try to record as much as possible so I'll have enough content for you guys for at least a month.
                Here's the hard part for me, while Jennie and I are working our tails off to cover the moving expenses it always helps when there is a little help. What does this mean? It means we could use some cash!
                There's two ways you can help:
                
                - You can go to www.disjointedproductionsllc.com and hit the Amazon banner before you do you holiday shopping. Make sure to clear your cookies first (web browser history) and Amazon will throw a portion of that sale back to us. Other than clicking on our link first nothing will change are far as how you usually do your shopping online!

                 - When you go to www.disjointedproductionsllc.com and go to the podcast page you can also donate a buck to the podcast via paypal!

Anything helps even just the thought of helping, so all is appreciated!
I need to get to work so till next time Party People!
Keep on a Chooglin!

Any "Reality" TV fans should dig this week's episode, Howard Hughes!

Day: Who the hell knows (15 I think)

Morning Party People,
            I'm starting to lose some of the motivation for doing this, I'll still keep at it but I wouldn't want to lie and say that some mornings this doesn't feel like a chore.
            I like to start these blogs on a high note as you can tell. Ok so whats on the menu for today? I'm not in a cab as the system was down and I didn't want to deal with a bunch of angry people who are all late for their appointments. That and the battle to get downtime didn't seem all that appealing. I'm hoping to make better use of my time today, so let's start by making a list shall we?
            - Car: I need to figure out what the hell is wrong with my ac/heater. I can live without ac in AZ but moving to CO in the winter without a heater sounds like suicide.
            - Scooter : Jennie bought a scooter that worked for a week and has been collecting dust ever since. I'm no mechanic but maybe there's something I can do with my hands and the power of the Internet, not sure how looking at porn will help but it's worth a shot.
            - Podcast sponsorship: I'm not sure if my podcast is worth being sponsored just yet but it's worth looking into.
            - Pod merch: I'm thinking of a t-shirt to go with the pod but I know nothing of graphic design and have a bunch or research to do, that or a lot of phone calls to make to people who do.
            - Comedy: I need to rewrite my new bit and see....well shit I just need to rewrite it. When it kills then I can let it rest.
            - New Pod: I might be starting a new pod in the next week or so. I could follow up on all of that.
            I have my work ahead of me, just have to remind myself how bad I want it all.
Till Next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!

Day 14 Working it like it aint no thang!

Morning Party People,
            Ok Itunes, I'm giving your radio app a shot. Let's see how it's taste is concerning my taste in music.
            I had a strange day with my sweetie, it was one of those days where we both had different ideas of how we should spend the day so I don't think either of us got to spend the day exactly how we wanted. The good part was that we spent the day together, that's all I really wanted, I should be grateful for how the day worked out seeing as there's been days that were far shittier and I was apart from her the whole time.
            All I want to do some days is be around her. I wonder if that's love or dependence? This relationship is so much different than any other I've had. I think I had a few good ones, don't get me wrong, but by and large I was never in a good place to actually be in a relationship. These days I finally feel free to be who I am without apology,that kind of freedom really let me be open to someone like Jennie. I don't want to go into it any more, I'm afraid I might jinx us. Watch I'll go on and on about how much she loves me and the first words out of her mouth to me will be ,"We need to talk."
            I have two episodes to record today, I hope they both show, even if they don't I still have an episode for tomorrow, how's that for being responsible? If I record today that will be six months of shows that I've produced! I feel more like me, the real me when I'm creating. I say that as opposed as someone who is just occupying this place in space and time. How's that for progress?

Till next time Party People,
Keep on a Chooglin!
          

Day 13: Who the hell knows

Morning Party People!

            So I have a new keyboard so my fingers are still getting used to the size and dimensions. It would come to me a lot easier if I knew how to type though.akjfqw;ouefhowr 

            I'm taking a few days off from the cab biz, so far I'm having cabbie withdrawals. I've gotten so used to always having driving on my mind. At the moment I don't feel relaxed, I just feel shitty for not making any money right this second. Holy shit I think I have a problem.

            You ever think of an embarrassing moment you once had and you find yourself cringing? I find myself doing that a lot lately. I have no idea why. I wonder if that's an internal critic of mine that's trying to keep me distracted from something? I sounds about right. Apparently there's a limit of how good I let myself feel, only so happy I can let myself get. I think I have a sneaky fear of disappointment in my life. I seem to remember disappointment being a big thing to me when I was a kid , then at some point it didn't bother me anymore. I think some where along the line I taught myself not to expect anything to good to happen, that way I never have to deal with any disappointment.

              So what is disappointment? The feeling of realization of some sort of failure? Whether it's from my doing or someone else's? What should I have learned back then? Perhaps to be understanding of some one elses efforts or maybe I should have learned to look harder at my own efforts to see where I had failed? I think that's a big thing. I seem to be naturally good at a lot of "smart" things as a kid. So maybe I always expected to be great at everything and didn't learn how to pick myself up after coming up short. Obviously I've had to do this many times but I think I still have that defense mechanism built into my skull. So it's time for a change!

              I'm getting into a better practice of writing my material (thanks to these blogs).