Morning Party People!
This morning I'm writing to you from my temporary home in Aurora CO!
I know I speak with a lot of you out there via The DisJointed Podcast but I haven't written to you in a while, I think I'll change that today.
So what's new? Well lets start with the obvious, I moved and yes it was tough, and yes I'm still scarred. What's comforting about all of this is knowing that I get (or have been given) a chance to test my self in this new challenge. You see I get to start a new life. This is something I've wanted since I knew I was going to get a divorce all those years ago.
I think as human beings go, when something horrible happens or to be more precise an ugly truth is revealed we have a desire to run away, to run away from the reality that we create. I know this was the case in me. I remember that sinking feeling I had when I knew it was over for my marriage, at the time I was filled with sadness and a sense of relief that I was ashamed of. When I was alone with my thoughts I'd stare off into the horizon through the tears in my eyes and I'd dream of a new life, one where I had my life under control, one where I wasn't broken. Everyday on my way to work I'd pass the turnoff to I-10 West that would lead me to Los Angeles, everyday I fought the urge to just take that turn because I knew if I did I would be cheating myself. I couldn't move to another city while I needed so much work.
Flash forward to a week ago, the same car I drove to work on, the same car that passed by the I-10 exit west is now packed with my clothes, my gear, my guitars and we're heading on the I-17 north to Denver. As I passed the last exit by Anthem I looked into the rear view mirror, half with the city of Phoenix in the background, the other half filled with a pair of older eyes that I don't always readily recognize ,I smile. I think about my life as a manager at the airport, I think about my life in my twenties as a server, I think of some of the unhappy relationships I've had. Then I think about how I left all of those situations, some out of choice, some out of accepting the inevitable. I think about how I finally learned how to be an adult without loosing my sense of wonder. I look into that mirror and I know that I'm ready to start my new life. Finally I can say I left Phoenix because I wanted to move forward, not because I was running away.
So here's me, in a new town, money is running low, but I start a new job this week. It's be tough just like it was when I moved to New York all those years ago. This time I have my art,my heart, and the love of my sweetie. When I look back at the decisions I made as a young man fresh out of school I wince knowing I could have made a better choice, as an older man I know I've finally have. I can't wait to see what this new life holds!
Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!
This morning I'm writing to you from my temporary home in Aurora CO!
I know I speak with a lot of you out there via The DisJointed Podcast but I haven't written to you in a while, I think I'll change that today.
So what's new? Well lets start with the obvious, I moved and yes it was tough, and yes I'm still scarred. What's comforting about all of this is knowing that I get (or have been given) a chance to test my self in this new challenge. You see I get to start a new life. This is something I've wanted since I knew I was going to get a divorce all those years ago.
I think as human beings go, when something horrible happens or to be more precise an ugly truth is revealed we have a desire to run away, to run away from the reality that we create. I know this was the case in me. I remember that sinking feeling I had when I knew it was over for my marriage, at the time I was filled with sadness and a sense of relief that I was ashamed of. When I was alone with my thoughts I'd stare off into the horizon through the tears in my eyes and I'd dream of a new life, one where I had my life under control, one where I wasn't broken. Everyday on my way to work I'd pass the turnoff to I-10 West that would lead me to Los Angeles, everyday I fought the urge to just take that turn because I knew if I did I would be cheating myself. I couldn't move to another city while I needed so much work.
Flash forward to a week ago, the same car I drove to work on, the same car that passed by the I-10 exit west is now packed with my clothes, my gear, my guitars and we're heading on the I-17 north to Denver. As I passed the last exit by Anthem I looked into the rear view mirror, half with the city of Phoenix in the background, the other half filled with a pair of older eyes that I don't always readily recognize ,I smile. I think about my life as a manager at the airport, I think about my life in my twenties as a server, I think of some of the unhappy relationships I've had. Then I think about how I left all of those situations, some out of choice, some out of accepting the inevitable. I think about how I finally learned how to be an adult without loosing my sense of wonder. I look into that mirror and I know that I'm ready to start my new life. Finally I can say I left Phoenix because I wanted to move forward, not because I was running away.
So here's me, in a new town, money is running low, but I start a new job this week. It's be tough just like it was when I moved to New York all those years ago. This time I have my art,my heart, and the love of my sweetie. When I look back at the decisions I made as a young man fresh out of school I wince knowing I could have made a better choice, as an older man I know I've finally have. I can't wait to see what this new life holds!
Till next time Party People
Keep on a Chooglin!
